Date of Article: 12/11/2008 This was prepared by Dr. C Mantlana for PCA Minister’s wives at our 2008 GA in KZN.
This talk is gear to motivate all women, but especially Ministers’ wives, to be more resilient in the struggle for self-empowerment and survival. As you listen to this talk, take it to your own context and ask yourself what you want to be or to do.
Remember, the moment one is ushered into this world the battle begins. The world requires us to be fully empowered to be able to face it. Therefore, make yourself a better person. Let go of things that enchains you. Free yourself from the chains. You cannot solve the problem using the same tactics that have failed in the past. Change your strategy and see if you can not succeed.
Do not waste time with things that you cannot change. One thing you can change is you. You are the master of yourself. When people say things that irritate you, be in control.
You are important and you are created for a purpose and it is only you who can fulfil that purpose. We came at different times for different purposes and we will depart at different times after completing our mission. Some will be happy when they depart and others will be sad. Sad not because they do not want to leave this world, but because of unfinished businesses or unaccomplished purposes. Don’t throw away what you have. Don’t die with it. When we do not use the talents we have, they die. Examine your life and find out in what way are you different from others. Celebrate that difference because that is your purpose.
Never be satisfied with your current position and the extent of doing things. Your worth is not measured in what you are but in what you are becoming, or what you are able of becoming. As one becomes, one has to make choices and decisions. Every second that passes by a decision or a choice is made. Some decisions are small, others are big. Decisions stick with us and follow us. We are free to make our choices, but after we have decided, the choice remains with us. It controls us. Therefore do not make bad decisions. Rather make good ones because these are meant to benefit everybody. Don’t make a decision when you are at your lowest ebb, when you are down, when you are under pressure, when things do not go well with you, when you are not happy with your condition that is not the time to make a decision. Delay your decisions even if you are tempted to make a snappy one. Wait until the storm subsides, until you are in your senses to make one. A decision must not be influenced by your emotions or how you feel at a particular time.
Bad decision making may lead to problems. However, keep in mind the problems are not permanent, they are temporal. I saw people terminate their relationships for a problem that came for a short time and for a problem that was not there when the relationship was started. Problems can mislead us and send us to places that we did not plan to go. It is true when people say, “If you do not plan where to go, someone can take you anywhere”. Problems know that principle.
You will overcome your problems only if you are willing to change. If we can change how we do things or how we approach our problems they are likely to vanish. If we do things in the same way, we are likely to remain in the same circle.
We all have been hit hard at least once in our life time by storms of life. When storm hits you, remember you don’t stay down very long. You rise up to the occasion to face the next challenge. The difference between the winner and the loser in boxing is when the loser is knocked down he remains on the floor but when the winner is knocked down he rises and fights fiercely until the game is over. You don’t find winners lying down you find them on their feet. To remind you again, life is a struggle with ups and downs. There are potholes and curves that we have to negotiate to reach our destiny.
Never allow your circumstances to scare you off. Don’t run away from your problems. Challenges are reversed successes. They are opportunities for us to grow. Surround yourself with good and wise people, people who can build you and lift you up when you need a lift. Then you have a chance at success
Unlock your potential by focusing on what you “can” do. Be selective in what you hear and don’t feed your mind with negative ideas. Everything is possible, and it all depends on you. Do not undermine your abilities, believe in what you have. The belief in yourself and the “can” are the main ingredients for growth and development in your life.
You can be anything you want to be if you build a positive attitude. A person with a positive attitude is like a fruit of all seasons and is always welcomed. Develop your own opinion, an opinion that defines who you are, an opinion that will help you get grounded. You will not be tossed around because you have a foundation. Don’t allow people to give you their opinions and concepts that will control you. Establish your own opinion and believe in it.
In a winner there is a loser and successful people will tell you that winning does not come easy. If you lose, learn to lose graciously. Losing moulds you and prepares you for greater things.
It is important to note that success begins with the individual. In your future endeavours always keep in mind that to be successful you need to be a positive thinker. A positive attitude and positive thinking are the first qualities that mark a successful person. If one is a positive thinker who likes challenges and difficult situations, then that person has half her success achieved. Keep in mind that your attitude determines your altitude. You are only an attitude away from success.
If we are to live life to the fullest, reach our potential and enjoy the journey (life), we must be positive thinkers despite all odds. We have to start with a positive mind set. Successful people, as achievers and positive thinkers are self-confident, willing to confront challenges, have initiative, are creative, persistent, mostly happy, are life-long learners, develop leadership qualities, empower themselves and they act rather than react, have fighting spirit and are committed. Successful people are winners and they work very hard to remain winners. They are in charge of themselves, and are self-reliant. They live in the present and plan ahead for the future. They respect their weaknesses and make the most of their strengths.
Don’t allow negative thoughts to germinate in your mind. Let it be a fertile ground for good thoughts. Infest your mind with good things and meditate on those good things. That’s where your victory lies.
Successful people are constantly looking for great new ideas. There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come. Finding a great idea is more a function of attitude than of aptitude. Most of the great achievers in history were people who were bitterly criticised but who persevered. In order to be successful you have to take a chance. You must be willing to take a climb, after all that is where the fruit is. If you try nothing, you will never have any chance at success.
It is easy for many people to see an opportunity that they have missed. It is more difficult for people to see an opportunity that has not yet come. When you can easily see opportunities that you have missed and you can’t see the ones coming, you are likely to get discouraged. But the good news is that there are always new opportunities on the horizon, whether you can currently see them or not. Train yourself to see opportunities and be ready to seize them.
Once you have identified an opportunity, take positive action: I once heard the story of a poet who was walking in the garden and saw a birds’ nest lying on the ground. A storm had swept through the tree and ruined the nest. While he mused sadly over the wreck of the birds’ home, he looked up and saw that they were already building a new nest on the branches. They did not let the storm’s destruction discourage them. They were already taking positive action.
As a person who was born for a purpose, you should possess a vision: Poor eyes limit ones sight but a poor vision limits ones deeds. People who make things happen are people who have a vision (ability to perceive something not actually visible, as through mental acuteness, keen foresight, force or power of imagination). People who lack vision can be terribly surprised by the future that awaits them. The winds of change often blow them here and there. They aren’t quite sure where they will land and what they will find when they get there.
When you have a vision, and you work hard to accomplish it, your future is more likely to become a fulfilment of that vision. Do not allow anything obstruct your vision: not the past, nor current pressures, nor problems. Our present circumstances; especially if not a success can limit our vision. The great thing in this world is not so much where we are but in what direction we are moving. None of us chooses how we begin life. We are born into a situation totally outside of our control. But as we grow older, we have more choices. We choose our direction and we are responsible for the outcome. Your current position does not dictate your destiny. If you want to become successful, you must define the vision you have for your life and then work hard to make it a reality.
If you do not choose a path you will make no progress in life. The time has come for your own personal growth. Explore every possible avenue to fulfil your vision. Exceed your normal expectation. No one achieves her dreams with average energy and effort.
In order to ultimately achieve your vision set SMART objectives and work hard to achieve them. These will lead to short-term goals which in turn will lead to intermediate goals and these will ultimately make you realise your vision. In the process remember time management. Every minute counts.
Success strategic activities: Go to some place where you can enjoy solitude. Take with you a pen, a diary, any book that may help you (such as the Bible). Once you are alone, ask yourself the following questions:
• What are my talents and gifts? How can I use them?
• What is my passion? Is there anything that touches my heart and gives me added energy to work and accomplish?
• What is unique about me? What can I do that is out of the ordinary?
• What significant people am I in contact with? What are the talents, gifts, and passions of others with whom I can collaborate
• What need do I see that I would like to see fulfilled? Often the desire to meet a need can fuel a vision
• What is the greatest thing I can imagine myself doing in my life time?
• What opportunities do I have?
• If I had unlimited resources and knew that all my efforts could succeed, what would be my goals? Remember- dream big!!
• Who do I know who has a similar vision? How can we help each other?
Based on the answers to these questions, you can write a statement of purpose for yourself. You can define your purpose and painstakingly set goals for every stage of your life, but if you do not move into action, you will accomplish nothing. Without action the planner is only a dreamer.
Concentrate on your strengths instead of your weaknesses. Be determined to follow through your plan despite obstacles, criticisms or circumstances, or what other people think or say or do. Opportunities do not come to those who wait indefinitely. They are captured by those who dare to attack
In conclusion:
First and foremost, be sure that you seek first the Kingdom of God and what He requires of you and He will then provide you with your needs (Mathew 6: 33). I strongly believe that just like true Christians we believe in the power of prayer. When we pray, we begin with praising the Lord (Psalm 113:3) for past blessings, we thank Him for the present blessings and then thank Him in advance for the potential and future blessings. God knows our needs however we need to let our requests known to God because He still needs us to ask in childlike faith. Despite hardships, God still sits on His throne. All our attainments, I believe are by the Grace of God. Nothing will lift us higher to any better heights than persevering efforts, continuous exertion whether of mind or of body. Only by that route will we rise and shine.
BY: Dr. CD MANTLANA: BSC, UED, BED, (UHF)MED(UFS), MED(WSU, PHD(UFS) | |
